T-Rex: Superhero origins are broken!
T-Rex: They're broken, right?
T-Rex: Why isn't anyone talking about this?
T-Rex: In the 60s you could say "oh buddy got bit by a radioactive spider" and people would go "hmm yes makes sense" - but TODAY, with our much more sophisticated understanding of both spiders AND radioactivity, it reads as a joke.
T-Rex: It works for Spider-Man because it's grandfathered in, but come on: a radioactive wombat giving Wombat Man his powers is a punchline!
Utahraptor: So radioactivity is out?
T-Rex: And everything else too!
T-Rex: Today's audience KNOWS there's no credible way to ACTUALLY get superpowers, so no explanation will ever make sense! Just jump to the good part! I PROMISE nobody cares how Laser Vision Lady got her queer laser powers.
Utahraptor: I already care how that happened.
Off panel: Is she an alien from a world that evolved coherent light? Maybe she's an early cyborg who escaped a mad scientist's lair and is forever being chased by his latest, stronger cyborgs?
T-Rex: DANG IT! That DOES rule!!
T-Rex: So THIS is what being wrong feels like
